Mother, Nature

A couple of years ago I remember thinking that the only thing I wanted for Mother’s day was to be left alone for the day, then feeling incredibly guilty that I felt that way.

Now that the girls are older and have more independence, I find this year that I look forward to spending the whole day with them doing, as Kaya puts it, ‘anything mom says, we have to do!’

I go against the grain a bit this year though. I do not want flowers or a hanging basket. I don’t want to go out for brunch or breakfast in bed even. Kaya is a bit dismayed with this but is easily won over with my way of things.

What I do want is the homemade cards and presents from school. I want Daddy to whip up a glorious breakfast and the girls to set up a beautiful table. I want some time outdoors. Kaya wants me to wear a dress and I agree if I can wear it with gumboots to which she exclaims “Yah, yah, yah! Me too!” I want to cozy up in my quilt on this rainy day and watch Doctor Who with my big girl and The Red Balloon with my little one. I want sushi.

What I want, I get.

And more.

The table is made, both beautiful and Doctor Who themed. momsdaytableI mean come on? Perfection!

I didn’t know I wanted dancing. But while waiting for breakfast, Macklemore’s “Ceiling Can’t Hold Us” comes on, and we have a morning PJ dance party. After breakfast and donning dresses, the girls feel compelled to twirl/jump on the bed while listening to Inner Ninja. I join them, of course. And later still, when we go for a stroll to the waterfalls, we dance some more. To our own tune.dance2_1KF1897twistme

But of course, anything mom wants, mom gets, only lasts for a time.

What mom really wants is a decent photo with her girls. Brennyn promptly refuses. Pouty lip protrudes and stubborn stance forms. _1KF1889Though I feel the beginning edges of frustration and expectations gone wrong, I quickly catch myself and just let it be. If I get a fabulous photo with my big girl, or no photos at all, I am still going to rock my gumboots and new dress and have fun! Handing over my phone to Bal, I suggest, just snap, snap, snap away as you see fit. Capture the real. He does just that. apout

But in the end, by letting it be, I get better pictures of us than I ever could have hoped.meandgirlsheartfeet

Oh, and did I mention bribery? I told Kaya if she took some nice photos with mommy, she could bring her camera phone and take photos too. We make it a family affair._1KF1864

On our way back from the falls, I direct Bal in a couple feet-only photos. I couldn’t have done it better myself! gumbootsdresses

Motherhood captured. Holding on. Letting go. holdonletgo

Love.

Have you ever jumped in a puddle with a dress on? Errr, not sure I recommend it but it sure did elicit some giggles from Kaya and I (and a few tears from B!)

Back home, we snuggle in blankies and while B naps, Kaya and I watch Doctor Who. After, we draw together, both of us drawing where we’d want a tunnel in our backyard to go to anywhere in the universe. We each draw our pictures in secret and once finished, reveal to each other. We both laugh outright when we have both drawn space!

I even get a mid-day, out of nowhere, just because she’s really feeling it in the moment “I love you mom” as she looks me in the soul. Listen, Kaya never does this. She’s a “Goodnightloveyouseeyouinthemorning” run-on sentence, say it because I’m expected to kind of ‘I love you’ girl. So this was pretty much the best present she could ever have given me.

Soon Brennyn is awake and it’s time to snuggle her and watch The Red Balloon since 1. Brennyn had a red helium balloon earlier in the week and 2. I’ve been wanting to get this for awhile now but am always vetoed in favour of the Wiggles instead. After a friend recommends it (thanks Kristin!), I make sure to get it this time and Mother’s Day is the perfect time to watch it. Was a big hit by the whole family!redballoonmovie

Originally we had planned to go out for sushi but I’m cozy and don’t want to move so we get take-out sushi instead. I top the day off with a glass of wine, kisses to two grumpyish girls and a 2-hour Revenge season finale.

There have been Mother’s Days past that I have just wanted a break from my kids. Other ones where I have tried to force happiness amidst whining kids and poopy blowouts. Other ones still that have felt like just another day. This year was a great one. Perhaps because I let go of expectations of what the day ‘should’ be and just let it ‘be’. Perhaps because I was brave enough to say what I really wanted instead of what most mamma’s seem to want. Regardless of the why, I am filled with a profound burst of gratitude for the day and for my girls._1KF1853

May you all have had Mother’s Day your way too.

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One thought on “Mother, Nature

  1. Holy doodle, that is so similar thinking!! So awesome! I love every.single.photo! Yay for Bal for capturing those real, incredible snapshots! What a treasure! And yay for the Red Balloon in the afternoon and coasting into a great night following a day that you chose for yourself!! PS love love love your dress! ; )

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