After Kaya’s meltdown yesterday, I fretted over what was at the heart of her sadness. Surely it was not just because she couldn’t play her music perfectly. I wonder if something has happened at school, but if it has, she’s not talking. So I fret about her being 6 and already not talking to me. But the thing is, this is Kaya. Since she was a wee baby. So I fret about that.
This morning at school, the mother of Kaya’s best little buddy tells me that her girl was crying this morning because Kaya wasn’t playing with her. So I fret about them having their first little tiff or that one was mean to the other or peer pressure was at play. Oh I am just wrought with worry.
Then I am dropping Brennyn off for preschool, and another mom saw a few grade 7 girls be mean and call another girl in their class names. That girl ran away and was crying across the field. Oh I just wanted to run over and hug that girl. But Brennyn is with me and I need to get her in preschool. Fortunately, as we enter I see another woman walking nearby stop to help. When I am leaving, I see a teachers arm around the girl taking her inside.
All of it is just leaving me sad and full of despair.
To combat the sad, I peruse the #findinglove hashtag in my instagram feed (thanks to Hailey of 365 Gratefuls) and get closer to a happy, love-filled mood. After a few errands, I pick up my dog and we head out for a quick hike before I need to be back to pick up Brennyn.
Along the way, I can not stop #findinglove! A heart in a tree and tons of heart rocks leading me up, up, up to the viewpoint. And I guess along the way, I accept that I will worry about my girls, I will fret and feel angst and feel their pain but that I will be there too, to guide that the more love we seek, the more love we find and the more love that finds us.