Today I am following my three-year-olds lead. After Brennyn tells me she wants to bike to swim lessons, I quickly agree and decide maybe it’s time I just do as she does instead of getting endlessly frustrated at how slow and distracted everything gets done (or not done…)
To be honest, I am just in no mood for the battle today. The battle with her to get dressed, get shoes on, keep up on our walk to school, finish eating, clean up after herself, follow a simple direction… So I surrender. And in so doing, I release myself of the frustration to be on time or get anything done. Today, I follow. In resignation but to understand too.
She shows me up immediately by insisting we set-off for the pool now. Twenty minutes earlier than I would have so suddenly her slow-pace is kicking my ass.
Though along the way she stops pedaling mid-intersection to stare at buttercups. Another time she stops, stays stopped and seemingly forgets what she’s doing in order to sing and be.
Confession time. I try to wang-dangle my way back into leading at this point. “Hurry Up Brennyn!” on more than one occassion as well as a “Brennyn, come on!” said in as exasperated sigh as you can imagine.
At the pool now, while she is in her lesson, I regroup. Follow her, I encourage myself, relate with her on her level… Breathing deeply, I let go of the hurry and by the time the lesson is finished, I am ready.
First we have snacks in the grass. A slow, leisurely snack under the sun as we talk teachers and friends and red balloons.
Because she was given a red, helium balloon after lessons and well, hello, a floating balloon that gets tied on to her bike? Hip hip hooray! Only once tied to her bike, it keeps getting in her way or bonking her head. Amidst a sea of giggles she suggests we put the balloon on Mommy’s bike. Happiness is a floating red balloon on your bike. Yes indeed.
We stop shortly thereafter to push her bike up a mini hill. Stop again to watch a garbage truck. We always stop for garbage trucks! We stop because there is a yellow car. Out of nowhere we go super fast and I struggle to catch up to the surprise momentum.
Bubbles are blown. Blowing red balloons are watched. Flowers are sniffed.
“That butterfly and those flowers we saw and my red balloon.” Wishes that already are, because what more could she want for on this day.
I wrote this earlier as Brennyn napped. Pictures didn’t get added until tonight. Which means all hell broke loose between naptime and now. Sigh. Big sister entered the picture and well, wow. Not sure I’ve seen a meltdown quite like the one she had today. With a very full week behind us, piano practice did not happen like it usually does. There is nothing Kaya hates more than not knowing something, especially when she should. We learned today that she is not good at ‘cramming’. She tries to learn her 2 songs, gets frustrated and just completely freezes. Then cries. Then shakes and moany cries. Fortunately my day with Brennyn had me in a calm place so I just let her be. Let her cry. 40 minutes later though, she was still going strong. Crying and not playing. Eventually I leave her to go check on B upstairs and only when I am gone does she try again. She is pissed. Which makes her mess up more which makes her more pissed and so on. A song she would normally breeze through has her completely flustered. I text her piano teacher with a heads up and expect the worst. Dinner, bath, bed and by 8:05 on a Wednesday, I do pour myself a big ol’ glass of wine. With licorice. And pretzels. Because I’m not sure what I’m craving and need to cover all my basis (no chocolate in the house dammit!)
Fortunately following Brennyn’s simple pleasures in the morning allowed me to calmly handle the chaos later on, instead of losing it myself. So grateful for that!