A few days ago Kaya asks me if I love her.
I laugh and say “Of course I do! I love you soooooooo much!”
“Then why are you so grumpy with us all the time?”
To her, my week of extreme bitchiness feels like ‘all of the time’ because that is what she knows, feels, right now. And right now is all that matters. Kids and Buddha catch onto this mindfulness business easily…
After some pangs of guilt and chastising myself for being so bitchy, the present nudges her way through the dwelling.
Are you being bitchy now? Are you distracted? Are you here?
No. No. Yes.
Okay, I take her words in, breathe them, feel them and release, knowing I am a good mom, knowing too that I can do better.
One of the downfalls of Kindergarten, is that there is a lot less time with my girl. This past couple weeks has seen even less time with numerous playdates, full day dance dress rehearsal, and recital day. With summer break soon upon us, I look forward to more time to reconnect, making sure my girls feels my love right now.
And always, irrespective of mood.
Perhaps it should be noted that Kaya was nervous about going up on stage that day when she remarks on my grumpiness and not loving, her passive-aggressive way to deal with her emotions. Highschool should be, errr, interesting…
All of us with lessons to learn. Right now. And always.
LOVE, LOVE, LOVE all around and fully.
Just so ya know!