Love Lessons and Jazz Hands

A few days ago Kaya asks me if I love her.

I laugh and say “Of course I do! I love you soooooooo much!”

“Then why are you so grumpy with us all the time?”

Well damn.

To her, my week of extreme bitchiness feels like ‘all of the time’ because that is what she knows, feels, right now. And right now is all that matters. Kids and Buddha catch onto this mindfulness business easily…

After some pangs of guilt and chastising myself for being so bitchy, the present nudges her way through the dwelling.

Are you being bitchy now? Are you distracted? Are you here?

No. No. Yes.

Breathe.

Okay, I take her words in, breathe them, feel them and release, knowing I am a good mom, knowing too that I can do better.

One of the downfalls of Kindergarten, is that there is a lot less time with my girl. This past couple weeks has seen even less time with numerous playdates, full day dance dress rehearsal, and recital day. With summer break soon upon us, I look forward to more time to reconnect, making sure my girls feels my love right now.

And always, irrespective of mood.

Perhaps it should be noted that Kaya was nervous about going up on stage that day when she remarks on my grumpiness and not loving, her passive-aggressive way to deal with her emotions. Highschool should be, errr, interesting…

All of us with lessons to learn. Right now. And always.

***

Now if you will, a moment to show off my Jazzy Tribal Dancer!

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE all around and fully.

Just so ya know!

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One thought on “Love Lessons and Jazz Hands

  1. oh love love love is right. this post reminds me of the night you said, “she just needs to start to kindergarden!” it was the perfect way of understanding where some of her grump or OUR battles were coming from….tonight I think, and as you said, “Kaya just needs to have some summer fun with you”..or “YOU ALL need some summer fun together.” love and snuggles really do help to tame the grump, i believe. Your jazzy tribal dancer was AWESOME!

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